If I told you entirely about my dating life, you'd probably call me a slut.
I've never had a relationship longer than a year (maybe a year and a month if that extra 30 days of shit still counts). I've broken up with one of my exes last year (before Christmas and yes, that was brutal) for the reason that we’re actually not in the same “wavelength” or however you wanna call it and I just CANNOT with his “no-ambition-kind-of-ambition. And the same reason with the ex I had before moving out of home.
They were already in a stage (or at least they thought) of being ready to marry me, but I obviously wasn't there yet.
So anyway I've been single for a while and just found myself recently dating complete assholes. But to be fair, that must have been karma. Sure I’ll take it, because as if I have a choice
A few months after, I've made my way back to the dating scene, then I've met these peasants, as a good friend of mine would like to call them.
The Greatest Showman
This guy is so good in putting up a show. The full package pretentious prince charming we see on telly. Saying all the right things at the right time, takes you to awesome places, “treats you well”—like a princess, but when they're done, you're completely just out of the picture like you never existed. Ever.
Although they would constantly stalk you on the internet, but won’t say a word and pretend that they know you completely when they see you. What a dumbass.
Honey, meet me at 3pm, not 3am.
This type of asshole won't tell you what he wants because all he wants is what's under your pants. He has absolutely no feelings whatsoever. Which also means that he doesn't see you as an actual person, so BUH-BYE!
PS: He tells you he wants to “talk” when he wants something else to do the “talking”. He will also constantly feed you endless McDonald’s meals on “dates”. Yeah sure, McDonald's is pretty tasty, and I love cheap thrills, but please don't kill me by feeding me trash one date after another.
His cheap ass won’t impress me by pretentiously saying that he likes the “simple life”. Bitch, you want a simple life? Go live in New Zealand and start planting crops in your backyard.
One self-centered mofo.
A bitch of a drama queen when something happens to him, but when it's you going through it, he goes cold and changes the topic so that you could actually talk more about him. Because *insert name of asshole* is the best thing God has ever created!
PS: He also morphed into being super nice when he found out I am part of the media, wherein he thinks I could give him access to the coolest events in town, and connections to producers, etc. And thinks I’m a celebrity.
The Sketchy One
This SOB shows you a future.
...at least a future you thought would exist.
Sugar, spice and everything nice...until he no longer needs you. Although he knows he's an asshole but just won’t admit it.
Giving you mixed signals, and letting you live on false hopes. Wanting to impress you so much with how successful he is in his career, and always thinking and talking about work. Never tells you about his family and friends or about “life”.
Well, sorry love, not impressed.
So now you see, they come in all colors and sizes (of ego…don’t know what you’re thinking but I’m talking about their ego) and also having such admirable professions that at one point will make you think, “finally, not another dumbass”. But guess we can never really tell, can we?
Just because showing that they are religiously involved—like maybe teaching religion or something, or I don't know, whatever that makes them look or sound like they're actually nice, decent human beings—it's a lie.
They’re a hypocrite. They're slaves—good for nothing slaves.
There was this one guy, who actually talked to me about Jesus, the New Testament and all that, and low-key judged me for not being able to go to church that often. Like man, if you and Jesus are close, did he ever tell you that you’re an asshole?
Teach religion to kids?
At least practice what you preach.
Sure, I may only be teaching dance, and art, but hell do I teach them manners and discipline.
And that other guy who found out that I’m an artist told me “he’d be nice” and got so scared told me not to EVER write about him, not paint or photograph him whatsoever.
That’s like telling me not to live. I’m an artist, that’s what I do.
Dating an artist means you will always end up as material/subject.
But looking back, I realise that dating complete total dickheads was a great experience. That may not sound right, but I finally understood true maturity, which obviously none of them seem to have.
I also learned that dating a modern day dick wad showed me all the different ways men can lie and turn themselves into looking like God.